She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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