It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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