I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
