so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
it's like iHOP with fire
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
