If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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