so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
