hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
