no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
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He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
pray to the hookup gods
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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