but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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