It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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