his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
