It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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