i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Randomize