I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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