Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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