just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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