An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
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