she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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