i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
