How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
