i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
