On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
