Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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