I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
