My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
