Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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