Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
