i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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