Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Two words: blizzard sex
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
