people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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