Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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