you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
