I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
that is very illegal...i love you.
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