I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
