im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
