worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
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