if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
