she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
