My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I wish there were birth control emojis
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
