Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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