Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
