What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
