ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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