Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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