My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
