Me too!
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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