Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
