Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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