I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
