That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
