So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
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she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
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L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
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