Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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