I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
