I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
