Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
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Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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