Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
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i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
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This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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