her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
